Essay Feedback

Essay Feedback

Transitions and Logic

Opening

In your writing, it’s important to make sure that ideas, sentences, and paragraphs fit together cohesively by making sure each idea, sentence, and paragraph has a clear relationship to the one before it and the one after it.

  • As you listen to your teacher, review the annotated Sample Essay and make note of any questions you have.

Open Notebook

Essay Workshop

Work Time

In your workshop pair, read your partner’s introduction and first two body paragraphs while he or she reads yours.

Consider the elements of a strong introduction:

  • A smooth introduction to the topic—not a cheesy hook or a bland, general statement.
  • An appropriate level of formality.
  • A thesis that is specific, challenging, and based on evidence the paper will provide and analyze.

Consider the elements of a strong body paragraph:

  • The topic sentence acts as a mini-thesis that states the goal of the paragraph.
  • The topic sentence acts as a connection between the main thesis and the claims of the paragraph.
  • Evidence is blended elegantly with a sentence that makes its purpose clear.
  • The claims of the paragraph are clearly based on the evidence, using a valid line of reasoning that your reader can follow.

Review the Unit Accomplishments and Argument rubric as needed to keep the purpose of the essay clear in your mind.

  • After you read your partner’s introduction and body paragraph, give your partner positive feedback about specific ways his or her writing is meeting these goals. Share your notes with your partner.

Open Notebook

Essay Update, Part 1

Work Time

  • First, update your introduction and first two body paragraphs based on the feedback you received from your partner.
  • Then step back and create an Argument Development Organizer using the model. Use it to evaluate and organize your argument. Break at least four of your claims down in each of the six categories provided.
  • If you find you don’t know how to fill in a particular box for one of your claims, that’s an important sign that you need to do some more thinking and revising, or perhaps even more research!

Open Notebook

Essay Update, Part 2

Work Time

Now take your work with the Argument Development Organizer and continue improving your essay.

Consider the following issues.

  • Are the connections between claims made clear with good word choices?
    • What kinds of words should you use to make those connections clear?
  • Does each paragraph effectively answer any major counterclaims?
    • Do you have to answer every counterclaim specifically, or can you anticipate the counterclaim in your original claim?
  • Does each paragraph use appropriate language to help persuade the reader?
  • Does each claim connect clearly to the central thesis of the essay?

Open Notebook

Updates Quick Write

Closing

Write on the following topic.

  • What additional changes does your essay need to be the best it can be?

Open Notebook

Essay Writing Continued

Homework

  • Finish your body paragraphs.